Summer used to be a time of care free happiness. This summer has been anything but that.
I lose my job late this spring. I lose a very dear friend to cancer much too early. Now a young man I coached in baseball passes away suddenly.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Monday, May 12, 2014
After the weekend
Well, all the info and forms from Dell and the Texas Workforce Commission came in over the weekend. So it's official. I'm REALLY unemployed. Nothing in the works right now that seems to be "probable" at this point. Did a lot of yard work this weekend and spent some time with Michelle and Jake. Took my mind of the uncertainty of my future. Michelle and I cleaned house together for the first time in...well forever. That's a change. Not having cleaning ladies.
So I move on. Trying to find something to do with my time and filling out job applications. There is PLENTY to do around the house to fill up the time. Not so much to keep my mind occupied though. Damn ADD is going to control my days for a while.
So I move on. Trying to find something to do with my time and filling out job applications. There is PLENTY to do around the house to fill up the time. Not so much to keep my mind occupied though. Damn ADD is going to control my days for a while.
Friday, May 9, 2014
Post Dell "Adventure" Begins
After 20 years of taking a paycheck, directly or indirectly, from Michael Dell this first week has been a bit depressing. While the uncertainty of the future plays tug of war with the seeming security of my severance package I'm finding more ups than downs. I think the biggest downer has been the celebration of Dell's 30th Anniversary. It happened on the day I had my termination interview. My former co-workers are celebrating on Facebook on the very day I'm saying "What the HELL am I going to do now?"
LinkedIn job searching plays a large role in the sine wave of emotions I'm riding. Seeing so many jobs I could actually excel at is a plus. Waiting for the inevitable rejection email, or no response at all, slides me down the scale. I have not been in that spot for 2 decades, but more than that I have not been without a 5 year plan in that time. Not that the Dell roller coaster allows you to have a 5 year plan that means very much. There was always a seeming certainty that there was something in the future for me at Dell. Until there wasn't. It's a lot like my forced divorce. Don't get me wrong. Michelle is the best thing that has ever happened to me and the pain was well worth the life I gained after it. It's the unexpected life change you never EVER wanted to go through. The perception, or fallacy, of control is gone. Someone important tells you are NOT important and there is nothing you can do about it. And trust me I tried over the last few months to find someone at Dell who wanted me. Even my "safe harbor" fell through. That's when I knew God was telling me that Dell was not in my immediate future. A communication error destroyed any chance I had to stay.
I did have one thing though....Co-workers... and much later in my career, customers. With email there was always someone to communicate with and on LinkedIn you could "see" who was available. In the last week+ I have realized how much that interaction means to my mood and well being. Using the divorce analogy "Dell got the friends in the divorce." With all the changes at Dell you see a lot of people come in and out of your work circles. So that's not a big deal and all you have to deal with is survivor's guilt or career jealousy. But this is pretty much cold turkey. Survivor's guilt is much easier to handle than being voted off the island.
Nobody reads my blog so this is self therapy. I used to love to write. I think PowerPoint killed my creativity.
LinkedIn job searching plays a large role in the sine wave of emotions I'm riding. Seeing so many jobs I could actually excel at is a plus. Waiting for the inevitable rejection email, or no response at all, slides me down the scale. I have not been in that spot for 2 decades, but more than that I have not been without a 5 year plan in that time. Not that the Dell roller coaster allows you to have a 5 year plan that means very much. There was always a seeming certainty that there was something in the future for me at Dell. Until there wasn't. It's a lot like my forced divorce. Don't get me wrong. Michelle is the best thing that has ever happened to me and the pain was well worth the life I gained after it. It's the unexpected life change you never EVER wanted to go through. The perception, or fallacy, of control is gone. Someone important tells you are NOT important and there is nothing you can do about it. And trust me I tried over the last few months to find someone at Dell who wanted me. Even my "safe harbor" fell through. That's when I knew God was telling me that Dell was not in my immediate future. A communication error destroyed any chance I had to stay.
I did have one thing though....Co-workers... and much later in my career, customers. With email there was always someone to communicate with and on LinkedIn you could "see" who was available. In the last week+ I have realized how much that interaction means to my mood and well being. Using the divorce analogy "Dell got the friends in the divorce." With all the changes at Dell you see a lot of people come in and out of your work circles. So that's not a big deal and all you have to deal with is survivor's guilt or career jealousy. But this is pretty much cold turkey. Survivor's guilt is much easier to handle than being voted off the island.
Nobody reads my blog so this is self therapy. I used to love to write. I think PowerPoint killed my creativity.
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